Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
