is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Houston, we have a blender
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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