I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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