Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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