Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize