I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize