just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
