We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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