I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
