some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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