I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
