But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize
