I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
