The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
