i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
