I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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