she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
