Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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