Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece