Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?