is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT