She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating