? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception