if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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