Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
