Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize