i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he puts the penis in happiness.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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