I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
