We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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