She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
