Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
