Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
