check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
