That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
handjob tips. give me some.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
