she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
