woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
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So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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