some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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