so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
