How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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