I love black thongs
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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