Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
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He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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