My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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