so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
