i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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