12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
