Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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