Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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