So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
