So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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