so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
