she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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