Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
