Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
