I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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