i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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