Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
