how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
