I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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