if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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