I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
