Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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