You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize