why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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