I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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