I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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