Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
