walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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