i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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