obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
