I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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