Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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