idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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