I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
