Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
