shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need a burrito and a hug.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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